She still dates guys, sometimes hooks up with her ex boyfriend, and sometimes me. Because I don’t know if she is still OK with us hooking up (I’m still totally into her) or where she stands on the whole thing.
I flirt with her lots, and she reciprocates pretty well and we made out again since she and the guy broke up. So I’m not sure whether or not I should try and clarify (even when I’ve asked about it casually she’s been vague about what she wants from me) or tell her that I’m in to her. She doesn’t know what she wants, therefore she’s taking a little bit of everything. If you don’t want to be her booty call, then don’t be. I certainly wouldn’t hold out for this girl ending up being the love of your life, or anything approximating it.
But M wants to date men — lots of them from the looks of it. You say this girl is a “cold-hearted bitch,” and that she’s been stringing you along for months.
I seriously cried over him sharing his food with her. So while you should recognize that your fears are unreasonable, don’t let it stop you from talking about it with your girlfriend.
This is me telling you that you don’t have to be frustrated.
Pay attention to the awkwardness and confusion, even as it grasps you, but know also that you’re not without choice in the matter.
Choose, as the great lesbian poet Adrienne Rich once wrote, not to suffer uselessly. I promise in the long run it will be more rewarding, even more so than the hottest shower sex imaginable.
My girl and I have been dating for a little over two months.
You are being a little weird though, especially the part where you’re checking her profile every few days. It’s a bit early in the relationship for you to be having trust issues.